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Family pecking order.
Position born in the family influences the way you live your life Depending on the position in your family first middle last child or only usually affects how you think and react.I have studied the way someone reacts thinks and found some common factors they are common with those who are born first are the middle last one, the only one born or adopted. If you are a boy and only have girls as sisters and if you are a girl & live with boys as brothers and have no sisters.Here are my thoughts and observations on this fascinating subject.
The first childWhen the first child was born they were looked after like they were porcelain china given lots of attention then.When the second child was born some of that exclusive love and attention was given to the 2nd child.The first child can sometimes resent the 2nd baby being born even in other families taking away love from the first child born.What then happens is the first child that is born spends the rest of their life seeking others attention. They somehow feel a little rejected so try and please everyone.The longer the gap between the first & the second child the greater the need to satisfy love from others.The first child born can be demanding to live as they continually seek confirmation of being loved.
Sometimes the gap between them and the 2nd child with the loss of some love to the new brother or sister can manifest itself in future relationships. In adult life in future relationships they start to feel unloved at about the time they noticed love being given to the next one born and suffer from insecurity which may result in finding a new partner.Failing to achieve something or general constructive criticism can feel like rejection.
Being loved is an important part of this person life and often suffers from anxiety for no apparent reason. This is due to insecurities within love.They are much better in a stable relationship than having many partners throughout their lives.The first child will usually want to please those in authority from officials (policeman) to senior work colleagues to other friend’s parents.In later life their will be some instances they may want to please friends of similar age who are now parents. The above symptoms can sometimes happen if a parent dies or leaves home, they somehow feel that they are responsible for the break up of their parent’s relationship.Maybe because they are the oldest and have an older understanding to life.
Traits of the first child
They would have learnt form their own experiences not watching and copying others.Juggled your time efficiently by having your own time and spending time with younger members of the family.May often get bored doing long drawn out tasks and prefer to do many different things during the day.Prefers to be on control and gets annoyed when even the smallest things go wrong & not as planned.Rejection & failure go hand in hand. Strive to be the best but not necessarily a perfectionist.The first born tend to be sensitive and more in tune with others feelings.You will also look up to specialist like doctors and sports injury specialists & seek their help in times of need. The baby in the middleA family that has three or more children then the middle child will be influenced by and older and younger sibling & how the parents look after them.Depending on the age difference you are likely to have more in common with the one that is closest in age unless you are equal distance in age gap.Parents will be a little more relaxed with the middle baby and will not wrap them up in cotton wool.
Babies can sense fear so the middle one is likely not to worry as much as the first child.You can work well with all ages at school then in later life.Often you are more relaxed easy going and can agree to older and younger ones demands.Your parents may have spent less time with you, the first & last often get more attention, the first was on his own the last will always appear the baby of the family even when they are 40.You often go with the flow and be easily persuaded.More likely to leave home before others as you have no problem getting on with others in the big wide world.Many middle children tend to seek attention by dying their hair wearing the latest fashion, they just need to be noticed.Don’t forget many other outside factors affect the way we grow and develop into individuals.
Youngest baby
By now your parents would have hopefully learnt what to do and not to do.You will have older brothers and sisters to look after you.The last one born will often be the centre of attention but viewed as the youngest for ever which they may try and break away from.
The youngest child will copy older family members and may be quicker a cycling without stabilizers and doing things around the house.They will want to push buttons, remote television controls , pelican road crossing etc. just to be more adult.Parents don’t really want the youngest to grow up and leave the family nest but want them to grow up and act their age. This can be confusing for the last child born in the family.The youngest one can often be the most creative with music or design or just different. This is because they are the youngest and smallest and need to be different form other brothers & sisters.Unless the youngest ends up the biggest in their early 20’s they often have an inferiority complex because they always felt smaller and were always playing catch up to learn new things that others were already doing.Often the youngest blames others when they make mistakes, its part of the learning process but the youngest tend to want to blame their elders.
The only child
A mis-conception is that they are spoilt.They either are good at playing on their own, not worried when they are on their own, enjoy their own company or at the other extreme need lots of attention.Learnt the hard way on your own good at planning and making lists.Often a child that is born with a large gap between either older and younger siblings can fall into this catergory.They can fail to be successful with negotiating skills, they simply never had the opportunity to learn to play with others toys and share others valuables.More likely to be a perfectionist, tidy organised and well mannered. Good at exams and tend to want to make plenty of friends at school due to a solo existence at home. Twins This is a completely different subject and even identical twins have their own personalities & need their own identity.Some twins have problems in later life if they believe that they are wearing similar clothes to others.The largest baby may be the more dominant or will have a layed back don’t car attitude. The personalities between the twins often are cemented in the first 3 years being born which can then last their life time. I have only touched on this fascinating subject briefly and with more research more interesting facts will be proven & more common traits will be identified. I was a first of three boys and have watched 5 brothers grow up and seen how each one plays a role in the family.
For over 30 years when I meet someone I try and find out how many brothers sisters and the age gap to see if I can notice common factors that made the person who they are.Many world leaders of the USA & British Prime ministers including CEO of large corporations have come from large families & have been the first child born.They have had to be assertive just to make a point in a busy household.
No major study has been carried out to determine who is more likely to have an affair the first middle or last but there does seem to be a pattern. We should not jump to conclusions just yet, otherwise the first question you would ask on that first date is are you a first, middle, last adopted or only child? For every child born into a family first 2nd 4th 5th 6th or last we learn and develop as individuals.